Type 1 Diabetes

I have so much to say about Type 1 Diabetes.

 I am committed to raising awareness.

I am committed to raising money for research and a cure.

I am committed to keeping Seth healthy.

And I am also committed to giving Seth a voice.

Because this disease is his.

This is a poem Seth wrote for school

Running Against Myself

By Seth Hart

"pat, pat" was the sound of my feet

with the nice and steady, accurate tempo

like a perfected drummers beat

and even though my blood sugar's low

"pat, pat" was the sound of my feet

"swish, swish" was the sound of my arms

synchronized with the breath of my lungs

passing by McAlpine's old creaky barns

and the trees that are speaking in tongues 

"swish, swish" was the sound of my arms

"drip, drip" was the sound of God's tears

falling down in the form of rain

scientifically called precipitation hitting my ears

or landing on the bag I carry with no shame

"drip, drip" was the sound of God's tears

"boo, hoo" is the sound of crying

running with diabetes is a hard thing to do

and the feeling is like your body is dying

with your legs like jell-o and your brain like stew

"boo, hoo" is the sound of crying

Time Out

First of all, thank you so much for all your kind words and prayers. I'll admit to some last minute flight checks to make it to my Grandma's funeral, but in the end I knew I was needed here and it was ok. My mom called a few hours before the funeral to tell me my sister was reading my blog during the service and I was all "I literally spent 10 minutes writing that can I just rewrite it" but I let it go and it was nice to feel a part of the service. 

I felt a little slammed for a few days but I chalked  it up to post company let down and grandma died mourning but I finally admitted to being sick and went to the doctor today. Also Brad told me last night to go to the doctor today or else. So it turns out I'm sick, not just lazy. I got some good drugs and if I'm not better by Monday the doctor promised me a steroid shot, because I need to be 100% by Wednesday because this guy comes to town!

I can't wait to see him and smell him (yes, I smell my kids). Best. Smell. Ever. 

Also, today is Diabetes Day, during Diabetes Awareness Month. And Dakota has reminded me umpteen (gma) times. I feel guilty I haven't done anything about it yet. The truth is it's been a little crazy here with Seth's numbers. He'll run high a few days and then normal and then low and then crazy. We are smack in the middle of an "intensive testing" time to try and figure out if it's his basal rate, insulin - carb ratio, insulin sensitivity or what. If that all sounds confusing it is. The bottom line is on a good night my phone looks like this

On a bad night I've got this

So I will eventually do something to spread awareness on Type 1 Diabetes, as soon as I can think straight and maybe get more than a two hour stretch. And finish my good drugs and smell my soldier.

For now I will share the first video I made: 

PumpedUp!

One Year Strong

A year ago today - Seth had an appointment

A year ago today Seth was diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes.

The year has gone by in a haze of learning and living and yet...

I still remember sitting across from Janelle as she looked at the glucometer.

I still remember hearing the beep and Janelle saying "we have a problem".

I still remember staring at her and willing her to say it wasn't true.

I still remember kneeling in front of Seth and saying "We've got this"

And I still remember Seth's first question "Can I still go to the Air Force Academy?"

Knowing the answer to that and telling him broke my heart the most.

There have been so many highs and lows this year - literally (haha! T1 humor). There are things about this disease that consume my days and haunt my nights. My heart aches with the thoughts that my mind has to process. 

Today I choose to celebrate the strengths of Alex, Dakota, Seth & Sam. 

On his application to be a JDRF Ambassador Seth was asked who his hero is. Seth's answer was "My older brother and role model, Alex, because he gives me confidence that keeps me pushing through the day".  Thank you, Alex, for being such a strong role model and BIG BROTHER:

No one in our family has done more research on Type 1 Diabetes than Dakota. She is always sending me links to stories of research and new developments. While going into research isn't her major in college she still finds a way to incorporate it into her classes. Dakota has given presentations on the subject several times, from genetics, to research and how it affects our family. Thank you, Dakota, for using your KNOWLEDGE as power:

There are many amazing things about Sam. He is such a talented, humorous, intelligent young man that we are so proud of but the thing that gets me more than all of that is Sam's compassion. He is an example to me every single day of how to  be a caring, thoughtful human being. Sam will truly put others before himself. Sam once told me that Type 1 Diabetes has made Seth stronger than him but I know that Seth also gets his strength from the love and support that Sam gives him. In a cool, thirteen year old way : ) Thank you, Sam, for having a HEART OF GOLD:

Type 1 Diabetes is a lot to handle. Like anything that is thrown at you in life you can handle it many different ways. Seth immediately took action. Within nine months of his diagnosis Seth became an Ambassador for JDRF, raised over $1,000, organized a team and participated in a Walk for a Cure, went on an insulin pump, and began using a continuous glucose monitor. Instead of feeling sorry for himself and his new lifestyle Seth has taken an active role in determining his destiny. Thank you, Seth, for having HOPE:

Until there is a cure, Seth will not be able to serve in the armed forces but I know that there is a plan for him. And It will be AWESOME.